Time for a change
by archer76
Summary: Jax and Tara have gotten away with murder - or so they think. Jax is trying to keep it together, but in addition to all that the Sons are going through, someone shows up who is hellbent on finding Joshua Kohn and stirring up a whole lot of trouble.
1. Chapter 1

_author's note: hello this is my first attempt at SOA fanfiction. just toying around with what-ifs from season 1. this is set around the time just after jax and tara kill kohn. this is a short intro chapter, the next ones will be longer. hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!_

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

Once in a while something happens in your life that makes you think. Makes you take a good look at yourself. Reassess. See if it's time for a change.

Changing is easier than people think. All that's needed is the right inspiration. Preachers say the answer is to turn to God. Oprah says it is to strive to be The Best You Can Be. Even gives away kitchen appliances and trips to Australia to prove her point. There are even life coaches to help you along! Peace! Happiness! Love! All great places to start!

And then there is the best inspiration of all.

Revenge.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

If this person had just been walking down the street, or picking out produce at the grocery store, noone would ever have noticed. Too ordinary. Not too tall, kind of skinny, wearing faded jeans and a grey hoodie – it was a description that could have fit any number of people.

But this wasn't any number of people. This was a person stalking around Jax Teller's house. And since Jax Teller was Prince of the Sons, that meant it was Sons' business.

Jax took a drag on his cigarette and motioned with his head. Juice and Bobby nodded, circling around the back of the house. If the stranger decided to explore he would be in for a surprise.

But the stranger didn't explore. He just went up and down the front of the house a couple of times, looking up at windows, staring at the door. When Jax could stand it no longer he motioned to Happy, who immediately strode up to the guy. But no sooner had he touched the stranger on the shoulder when he was flipped neatly off his feet and onto his back.

Instead of rushing to their brother's aid, the Sons found themselves rooted to the spot, gaping. The would-be target had whirled on Happy and now they could see that a wealth of long dark hair had swung free from the hood.

"Who in hell is that?" Chibs' voice was as bewildered as they all felt.

They were staring at the newcomer, who was holding up a small fist to the face of one of the toughest Sons around. Happy was on his knees, reeling from the shock of being slammed onto his back, and as he struggled to get on his feet the fist flew out, connected solidly with his jaw, and he toppled over like a rag doll. Tig shook his head, wide-eyed and openmouthed. His cigarette fell from slack lips. "Goddess," he breathed in quiet reverence.


	2. Chapter 2

_a__uthor's note: thanks to anon, too lazy log in, shl and lazysmurf247 for the first ever reviews! cheers and appreciation! i hope everyone enjoys this next installment _

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><p>They approached her, Bobby and Juice joining them. The newcomer stood her ground. She didn't look particularly concerned, even as they surrounded her and Tig poked at Happy with the toe of his boot. Their brother didn't move a muscle.<p>

"He your friend?" She didn't look particularly apologetic either.

Bobby eyed her. "How'd you know?"

"Wild guess."

"That be one hell of a right hook, lassie," Chibs commented.

"Left."

He nodded. "I be a southpaw meself."

"You should tell your friend it isn't a good idea to sneak up on people." The girl's voice was so mild she could have been talking about the weather. She put her hands in her pockets.

Jax approached her, stopping so close she had to look up at him. Her stance remained relaxed, she didn't move, not even when he bent his head close and deliberately gave her his most insolent stare. His eyes narrowed a bit. She was just a kid, or seemed to be, her upturned face completely devoid of makeup, the wealth of dark hair surrounding it having the benefit of no product other than a good shampoo. Mint-scented shampoo, he could smell it.

"Why are you staring at my house?," he asked, so pleasantly it was menacing.

She didn't seem impressed. "I'm looking for someone."

Her eyes were the amber color of a great spiced rum Bobby had once made him try, the lashes long and curly like a kid's doll. Chocolate-mint hair, strawberry lips, skin the color of honeyed cream - damned if the girl didn't remind him of all the good things he liked to eat. When she got a little older guys would be wanting to unwrap her like a piece of candy.

"And who might you be looking for?"

"I'm looking for Tara Knowles. I was told she might be here."

Fearless, tasty,_ and _direct.

Jax took a half step closer so the girl had to crane her neck even further backwards. "Who told you that?"

"I have my sources."

Mysterious, too. Better and better.

"What do you want with Tara? Why are you interested in her?"

"I'm not, really, I just want to ask her about the person I'm really looking for."

"And who would that be?"

"Joshua Kohn."

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><p><em>Sons of Anarchy. The motorcycle gang Tara Knowles' ex-boyfriend ran around with. In fact, she was sure she was looking up at the ex right now. He was right in her face, probably trying to scare her, though he'd pulled back just the slightest bit when she'd said Kohn's name. His eyes had sparked, and the sudden tension in his frame did not escape her. Oh he knew Kohn all right, and not in the BFF kind of way. Now to see how much info she could squeeze out of him.<em>

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><p>Jax gathered his wits, having been thrown off for a moment by the girl's declaration. She was still looking up at him and he thought crazily that she had the steadiest, most direct gaze of anyone he had ever met in his life. Eyes were a dead giveaway, which was why just about everyone he knew either hid theirs behind sunglasses or never held anyone's gaze very long. Not so this girl. The steadiness of her gaze was discomfitting, he almost got the feeling like she could see right through him.<p>

He had to get it together and fast.

"Who are you, and what do you want with Tara and Kohn?"

"My name's Sara Taylor and that's my business."

"You coming around my house kind of makes it my business, too."

The girl was not fazed. "If you look down you'll see we're standing on the sidewalk. Public property."

Unable to argue with that, Jax took a last drag from his dying cigarette and blew the smoke gently across her upturned face. Her only reaction was to blink to keep the smoke from getting in her eyes. He smiled a bit. "You're not fluttering your eyelashes at me, are you?"

"Would it scare you if I was?"

The rest of the group watched the banter with interest. It was no secret that Jax got his dukes up whenever there was a threat to Tara, real or imagined. They knew Kohn to be the ATF agent who had been sniffing around, but what could possibly connect him to both Tara and this slip of a girl was a question that could have very interesting or very disturbing answers, no matter that Kohn had been sent away. Their VP did not look happy. It was understandable. Usually, people who posed a threat to the Sons were candidates for a beating or a retaliatory shooting. Threats did not often come in the form of small girls with big eyes. Also, Jax didn't often interact with females in this way, mostly he was used to the type who hung around waiting for a chance to jump his bones. Right now he was obviously racking his brains for something to say to this one.

Bobby and Juice exchanged glances and then Bobby called out "You Kohn's daughter?"

She glanced over, her expression droll. "Seriously, dude?"

"Well, you do look about twelve."

"Maybe thirteen," Chibs added.

"I'm twenty-three, not that it's any of your business. And no, I'm not his daughter."

"What then?" Jax asked. For some reason the possibility that Kohn was banging this girl turned his stomach.

"That's between Kohn and me." Her voice was quiet but firm, she even shrugged a bit. "So is anybody going to tell me anything? Or am I just going to have to go comb this town for Tara and get his whereabouts out of her?"

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><p><em>He had reacted. Out of the corner of her eye she had seen Jax Teller react and the bad feeling she had gotten when Kohn's trail had come to an abrupt stop suddenly grew tenfold. Something had happened to Kohn - and Tara Knowles was involved. Oh boy. Oh boy.<em>

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><p>Nobody was answering her question. How telling was that? Strange how people had never figured out that one could deduct just as much from what they were <em>not<em> saying as from anything they blurted out loud.

Time to go.

Sara took a couple of steps back, and when it was obvious that noone was going to say anything, she turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Kohn is gone."

Sara stopped like she was shot. She turned back to Jax Teller. "Gone? Gone where?"

"Back to Chicago. He was AWOL and his bosses wanted him back."

Sara felt herself beginning to frown, caught herself, and carefully schooled her expression. "Why was he AWOL?," she asked and saw Jax actually shift his feet uncomfortably. _This was feeling worse and worse._

"He was working a case here or something."

_Or something_.

All the swear words she knew wanted to come to the surface but Sara kept them down. She had always found it good policy to be direct and honest to the point where it didn't affect what she needed to do, because it kept the lies to a minimum (and consequently the need to keep them all straight) and had the added bonus of making one seem trustworthy and unthreatening. But she was past that point now. Jax Teller already saw her as a threat, ever since she mentioned Tara's name. And forget the trust, MCs never trusted anyone not their own. She wondered if telling them about the guy in the parked car who had been watching them for the past half hour would gain her a few brownie points, enough to make them tell her more of what they knew about Kohn. She decided against it. The dude in the car was yet an unknown and she needed to look into that first. It might have nothing to do with Kohn at all but she needed to make sure. If she told them about him these leather-jacketed biker types would almost certainly take the direct, relatively unimaginative approach of trashing the guy's car or beating him up. Or at least scaring him away. She had to find out who and what the observer was about first. And if he was tied up with Kohn and his mysterious return to Chicago. Which she knew probably never happened because his trail never started up again.

Making up her mind that she had gotten about as much info from the Sons of Anarchy as she was going to get, Sara nodded and began to walk away. Jax called after her again.

"Where you going?"

It was best to answer. "Police station to ask about Kohn."

"Yeah, well, leave Tara out of this."

Sara did not respond.

Jax watched the girl walk away, a feeling of dread settling over him like a cloud. When they'd first come face to face he'd felt something prickle at the back of his neck. A warning? A premonition? He wasn't superstitious but it had been an almost sixth sense kind of thing – something telling him this girl was going to be in his face quite a lot from that moment on. He felt around in his clothes for another cigarette. Damn but he needed a smoke. Bad.


	3. Chapter 3

_a__uthor's note: thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and put the story on alert. please let me know what you think of this nextchapter!_

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><p>Jax deliberately broke off from the pack, skirting Teller-Morrow, heading for the hills. Chibs spared him a backward glance but none of them followed and for that he was thankful. He needed a few minutes to himself.<p>

He stopped nowhere in particular, just a spot where the grass grew long and tall by a nice oak tree that gave some shade. Lit a cigarette. Looked out over Charming. Same rooftops, same winding roads. A few more houses over the past year but not much else was new. Few things changed in Charming. Comings and goings mostly.

_"You left Chicago because you were afraid this guy was going to hurt you."_

_"One of the reasons."_

Just one of the sweet little conversations he'd had with Tara, that he'd played a million times over in his head. About coming and going.

Loaded questions.

_"Did you come back here cause I knew I would hurt this guy? Do what the cops wouldn't do?"_

Loaded answers.

_"No, I had no idea he would follow me here. I didn't even know you'd still be here."_

How could she possibly not know he would still be here? He'd given up what they had, given _her_ up, to stay. How could she not know?

Another time she had told him: "_This was the only place I felt safe."_

So who or what made her feel safe? This town with its flimsy houses? Its collection of outlaw groups and groupies? Unser, for God's sake? _Hale_? What did he really want her to say anyway? Did it really matter? Kohn was dead. Whether or not Jax Teller was the reason Charming felt safe to Tara Knowles, it was him she had called. And now Kohn was dead.

A sudden desolation came over him. He hadn't had a minute to himself since it happened and there hadn't been time for desolation before. Time or inclination. But it was here now, brought to the surface by this new menace and it was threatening to overwhelm.

It had been almost too easy, the circumstances almost too ideal. Kohn was AWOL, Charming police themselves had put him on the plane back to Chicago. No reason to look for him. Nobody til that girl, that small slip of a girl with her too-calm air, her too-straightforward gaze. She had made him all kinds of uncomfortable. No, dammit, she had made him squirm. What the hell did she want with Kohn? Were they lovers? Was she looking for him because he didn't come home? Whatever her reasons for hunting Kohn, she was Trouble, karma, his very recent past coming to haunt him. It had been so nice to pretend. Not even that they had gotten away with it but that it hadn't actually happened. Except for a brief exchange with Tara (_"You're in shock. How can I help you?"_), he hadn't had to discuss it with anyone. Circumstances had made it easy to sink back into a semblance of normalcy (whatever 'normal' was).

Until the damned girl had come along.

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><p>SAMCRO: Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original.<p>

Jackson Teller

Robert Munson

Alex Trager

Filip Telford

Juan Carlos Ortiz

They were all on file. Joshua Kohn had been looking into the goup and not just because their VP was into Tara Knowles. Literally and figuratively. But the sixth guy, the one she had knocked out, was not in Kohn's file. He'd been wearing a couple of patches different from the others. One had said "Unholy Ones".

Sara leaned back in her chair. She flicked a fly off her keyboard, knowing it would be back in a bit. She couldn't be bothered to chase it just yet although she would need to if she wanted to get any sleep later on. She had too much to figure out right now.

Each of the guys had a rap sheet, some longer than the others. If she looked hard enough there would be one somewhere with the sixth guy's picture on it, for certain sure. But so what? Knowing this wasn't helping her find "her Joshua" (_"I'm _your_ Joshua, don't you ever forget it"). _She should've been asking Tara Knowles if he'd come around here telling her he was _her _Joshua.

Sara knew enough to know that very few people were as they seemed. Things went on in the dark of night , behind closed doors and encrypted internet connections, things even the people closest to them would never suspect. Was it that way with Tara Knowles? Her background was freaking puritanical : honor student, top of her class; the drunk father bit throwing in just enough damsel-in-distress to get the here-I –come-to-save-the-day going in just about any hotblooded male. Did she have a dark side? Her involvement with Joshua Kohn was no deep, dark secret but how exactly it had turned sour was. Suddenly, a restraining order had appeared out of nowhere, that had hurt Kohn "truly and deeply". And then something else that Sara was sure almost nobody knew about: the abortion. Tara Knowles had aborted Joshua Kohn's baby and though life went on, there was no way of knowing what that had done to his head. The wheels of Joshua Kohn's mind did not all grind in the same direction. The mechanisms in there were in a tenuous state of equilibrium and it did not take much to throw them off-kilter. Tara Knowles's abortion had been a leviathan-sized wrench thrown into that machinery and her leaving Chiacago had been…. well…

Again she toyed with the idea of confronting Tara Knowles. Would it be productive? Or counter productive? It was a safe bet that the good doctor with the permanent furrow between her eyebrows was not going to give her any straight answers. Especially since she definitely had something to do with the fact that Kohn was nowhere to be found. It had taken one change of expression on Jackson Teller's face to tell Sara that.

Going after the doctor would likely accomplish two things: no increase in information and the alienation of Jax Teller and his MC. He had, after all, told Sara to leave the doctor alone. Would doing as she was told earn her any brownie points? She was not naïve enough to think it would. But the SOA still loomed as a better chance for her to find out what she needed to know. Better than Tara Knowles anyhow.

Sara sighed. She needed to find "her" Joshua. Soon.

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><p>"The murders we had here last week, this all points to the Sons."<p>

Charming Deputy David Hale was having a conversation with ATF Agent Stahl and he was pleased at the direction it was going. SAMCRO had been a thorn in his side for the longest time and he had waited a long time to put them away. His father had worked to the same end before him.

"Yes," she replied. "And I've got shit to convict. It's all circumstantial, that's why I'm going to use RICO. We need to prove that the Sons of Anarchy is an ongoing criminal enterprise."

RICO. The Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act. It ensured penalties for being part of a criminal organization. Great in theory but it hadn't helped Hale's anti-SAMCRO campaign one bit.

Stahl rambled on about how she planned to dig up dirt about the past by using the SAMCRO women. Using Luann Delaney's arrest as a bargaining tool with her jailed husband Otto, a fully-patched SAMCRO member. Going after those who had the most to lose - "job" (Tara Knowles), "family" (Donnna Winston), "freedom" (Cherry Parker). Hale's gut rebelled a little at Stahl's putting Tara in such company and he told her so.

She only shrugged and thrust a photograph at him, one of the good doctor standing in the Teller-Morrow parking lot. "Well we've had surveillance on the club the past four days and Tara has spent every night there." She looked at him a little too closely for comfort. "Kohn was right. He pushed her straight into Teller's arms."

Joshua Kohn's own words echoed in Hale's head. _"I'm not stalking Tara, I'm protecting her. C'mon. we all know what happens if she hooks up with Teller. "_

Yes, Hale thought in dismay. They did.

"And there's a new face in the picture, it seems," Stahl added, bringing him back to reality. She tossed out another photograph, one of a small slender girl apparently in deep conversation with Jax Teller. "We don't know anything about her yet except for her name. Sara Taylor. Probably connected to SAMCRO judging from how she was talking to Prince Jackson. Came around the station looking for Kohn. Potentially interesting, don't you think?"

David Hale wiped his hands over his face. _Like he didn't have enough on his plate._

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><p>A day or so later Jax was standing in the parking lot at the projects. An ordinary everyday thing to do, standing around, except he wasn't <em>just <em>standing around, he was standing around waiting for Opie to carry out a hit. Apprehension was a tame word for what hung in the air at the moment. He had a bad feeling about this, a really bad feeling. Opie's first real assignment since he'd gotten back and Jax had a Really Bad Feeling. It was a revenge hit. Payback was the holy grail of inspiration for such an act but something else was driving Opie, something tied to the showdown Jax had witnessed between his best friend and his best friend's wife in the parking lot that morning. It was money, it was life, it was being a father who couldn't support his kids, and those were all Really Bad Reasons to be doing this.

And him - why was he doing this? Why was he here? Opie had said he had something to prove. Did he? And whatever it was he had to prove, was he really going to do it by standing here waiting to finish the job if something went wrong? What did that prove? That he had Opie's back? The club's?

What about his back? He had to worry about that, too. A Fed was dead, he had pulled the trigger and he'd thought burying the guy had been enough. His mind was changing pretty fast about that. And about other things….

It all happened as if in slow motion: The target coming out into the open, Opie freezing, Bobby coming up behind the guy and putting four bullets in him. Next thing Jax knew he was driving them away, away from all of it, away, away from culpability, away from any guilt. Covering the club's back.

Not much later he was standing over an open grave in the dark, attempting to cover his own back. And Tara's. He poured gasoline over Kohn's trussed up corpse, tossed in a lighted match, watching as the flames ignited and began to slowly eat away at the body. And at his guilt? He should be so lucky. After a moment he tossed a pile of papers in with it. His father's manuscript. John Teller was messing with his head from the grave and the last thing he needed right now was to add another dimension of conflict to the inner war he already had going on inside him. He watched the flames, hot, hungry, restless. Just like him.

God, he needed a change.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm trying to figure out what your history is with the Sons of Anarchy."

"I don't have one."

Jane Stahl sat back in her chair. The person she was interviewing was largely a mystery to her and she didn't like it. Stahl always had leverage when she talked to someone, and if she didn't have it outright she was almost always able to suck it out while talking to them. Not so with this girl. They had been talking for the better part of an hour and she knew nothing that she hadn't already known when they had started.

The girl was simple, or seemed so. Single-sentence answers. Wide innocent eyes, complete with baby-doll eyelashes. Clueless shrug and expression mastered to perfection. She had been talking to Jackson Teller because she was looking for Tara Knowles. She was looking for Tara Knowles because she needed to find Joshua Kohn. She needed to find Joshua Kohn because he'd promised to help her through school.

"So you had nothing to do with the Sons before you came to Charming."

A shake of her head. The girl's dark hair was so shiny it gleamed crazily under the lights when she moved. Stahl found herself wondering what it would feel like to touch it, and shook her head to clear it. The girl who seemed cute and innocent appeared to be exactly what she seemed. Everything they could dig up on her checked out. _Then why the hell did it feel so - so _not_ right?_

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><p>"Can I help?"<p>

The sound of the quiet voice made Juice turn. He gaped.

"You? What the hell you doing here?" It was the girl from the other day in front of Jax's house. And she had just caught him in an extremely compromising position with the unconscious Irishman, bloody sheets and towels all around them from trying to get two bullets out of his behind. Wonderful.

"Waiting for Jackson Teller. His mom told me he'd be here in a bit."

"Gemma let you in?"

"If you mean the lady in the front office, yeah. She said 'come in and wait, cookie'."

"Cookie?" That was so surprising coming from Gemma that it almost made him forget his compromising situation. Almost.

The girl shrugged and then said again "Can I help?"

"No! I mean what are you doin' here? You need to leave!" Juice looked around wildly, unable to move to go shut the door or anything. The girl ignored him, just walked closer and peered curiously at the Irishman, her hands in her pockets.

"You have your finger up his ass," she observed.

"No, _no_!" Juice hesitated. "Well technically, yes - but my finger's not jammed _up_ his ass cause you know that would be gay - it's jammed _in_ his ass..." he trailed off and sighed." ...which I guess is still kind of gay."

Sara nodded understandingly. She peered closer at the wound. "Wow that's a mess," she said, her voice mild. She could have been talking about her lunch. "Are you plugging the femoral ?"

Juice frowned. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

"Basic anatomy. Required for paramedics."

"You're a paramedic? You don't even look old enough to be out of high school."

She ignored his last comment and said: "If you have a clamp somewhere I can clamp that for you. That way you can take your finger out of his ass."

Jucie blinked at her.

She held up her hands. "Unless you like being gay - I mean you can carry on by all means. You're doing fine stopping the bleeding."

Juice gaped. "What? Hell, no ! I mean, yes, of course I want you to clamp it!"

Sara nodded. "Okay. You have any supplies?"

"Here comes Jax with them now."

Jax walked into the room carrying a sack of medical supplies he'd gotten from Tara. His expression was indescribable. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," replied the girl, unfazed. "Do you have a clamp in that bag?"

"What?"

Sara took the bag from him and began to rummage through it.

Juice grinned at Jax. "She's going to clamp the artery so I can get my finger out of here. She's a paramedic."

"What? Her? A paramedic?"

Sara sighed, shook her head a bit. "Clap if you believe in fairies!" she muttered, rummaged some more and came up with a bottle of pills. She held it up, read the label. "Vancomycin. Cool. This'll kill anything." She tossed it to Jax. "Give him two now, then one every four hours."

"No, not just yet," she said as Jax moved to wake the man."Better to do this when he's out." She rummaged in the bag again. "No clamps."

"What do we do?"

Sara thought a moment. "You think your mom might have any paper clips in her office? Not the little ones - those big bulky ones - what are they called, bulldog clips?"

Jax left and returned with a couple of them. Sara picked out the newest looking one, doused it with betadine from the bag and slipped on a pair of gloves. "Okay," she said to Juice. "On three pull your finger out. One, two - three!"

Juice pulled his finger out of the bullet hole and blood, bright red, vital arterial blood, immediately spurted like a fountain. Unperturbed, the girl slipped her small hand into the wound and suddenly the geyser stopped, just like a faucet had been turned off.

"Holy shit!," Juice swore, openmouthed. "Great job, uh, er-"

"Sara," she replied. "You, too, …?"

"Juice."

"Juice. You saved his life you know."

Jucie grinned from ear to ear and went off to wash. Sara turned to Jax.

"That clamp will hold a long time," she said to him. "But it's just first aid. You need to get a real doctor to patch him up or he might lose a leg."

Jax nodded but Sara read the expression on his face very clearly. She looked away for a moment. "I'm going to need to talk to you at some point, but I'll leave before Tara Knowles gets here if that'll make you feel any better."

Jax hesitated and then nodded again. "I'll take you home. Or wherever it is you're staying."

"No need to give me a ride. But I do need to talk to you. Soon."

"I'll take you home."

He walked out to give Tara a call on his cell. She was finishing up her shift and would come right away. Just enough time for him to ship the girl off and come back. He couldn't let her stay or ask any of the others to give her a ride – the risk of the girl opening her mouth about Kohn was too high. Better to talk to her like she wanted, personally throw her off track. Threaten if needed.

And then, hopefully, get on with their lives.

* * *

><p>The motel she stayed in was like every other dingy motel he'd ever seen: weathered paint, tacky signage, questionable clientele moving in and out. Why it seemed more ominous than most he didn't know. As soon as he stopped the girl who had been riding pillion behind him slipped off his bike and faced him with that disturbing, too-calm gaze of hers.<p>

"Thanks for saving the Irishman," he said to her, trying to sound gracious.

"I helped out, that's all." She shrugged. "The saving part will fall to your doctor friend." In that particular angle of light her eyes were pure, clear gold, their gaze so steady he found himself barely able to meet them.

"Will you come inside for a second? Since you're already here there's something you should see."

Jax said nothing but Sara saw his expression change and she rolled her eyes heavenwards. "It's not myself I want to show you if that's what you're afraid of," she added drily.

He sighed and followed her indoors, waiting for a moment as she rummaged through a rucksack on the floor beside the bed. Soon enough she straightened and turned, and then tossed an object onto the bed.

Jax stared. Broke into a sudden, cold sweat.

It was his father's half-burned manuscript.

* * *

><p><em>author's note: am having to borrow scenes from the show as i go along, trying to keep the season one storyline going and the character in it. i hope you're all enjoying this so far, some "mysteries" will be cleared up soon. thanks for reading and i hope you let me know what you think! <em>


	5. Chapter 5

The girl stared calmly at him. When the silence had gone on too long she said. "Let's go outside for a moment."

Jax stared back, wary.

"If you're thinking of pulling a gun on me, I suggest you hear me out first."

Jax didn't have a gun. Unable to think what to do he followed the girl out. Half-expecting Stahl or Hale to be standing there with an army waiting to arrest him, he was almost surprised when all that greeted them when she opened the door was darkness and cold air. He followed her as she crossed the unkempt motel lawn towards an outcrop of rock that looked over the hills at Charming. She sat on the rock and looked at him expectantly. When he didn't say anything or make a move to sit down she spoke.

"I would ask you why you didn't just freaking tell me but it would just add to the really long line of stupidest questions in history." She gave him that look that made him squirm. The one that seemed to see right through him. "I know you have no reason to trust me. But for someone who has such major trust issues and who suffers from such extreme paranoia this was just all kinds of very stupid ! What if Stahl and her minions had found the body instead of me?"

Jax could only stand there, his mind trying to digest what the girl was saying. Sara wondered if he had any clue how much she was reading just from the expressions chasing each other across his face. He was nowhere near as good at hiding his emotions as he thought he was.

"So what is this—you're going to try and blackmail me now?"

The girl actually snorted and looked away a moment. When she turned back to him she was shaking her head. "You suffer from an amazing lack of imagination. Blackmail? Seriously? If I were going to go through all the trouble – and risk – of blackmail, I would aim for serious money. Which I know for a fact you don't have."

"There's other currency."

"True. But what would I want with guns? Too much trouble for too little gain, dude."

"So what do you want?"

The girl lifted her hands, her expression bewildered. "Why do I have to want anything?"

"Everyone does."

"Wrong again. I did want information about Kohn, but now I know where he is so …" she trailed off shrugging and then her eyes narrowed. "Or maybe you're right. I do want something."

"What?"

"To thank you. You did me a hell of a favor."

* * *

><p>Tara peered into the Irishman's wound, taking note of the bulldog clip that had clamped off the severed artery. "Did you do this?" she asked Juice.<p>

Juice opened his mouth to tell her what happened and then remembered Jax threatening the death penalty to anyone who breathed a word to Tara about the girl looking for Kohn. "It was Chibs," he lied, making a mental note to talk to the Scotsman to get their stories straight.

Tara tilted her head, nodding a little. "Crude, but effective." She brought out gloves, a surgical clamp, gauze, disinfectant. "I'm going to need your help, Juice."

"Sure," he grinned, puffing up a little.

A wad of gauze was handed to him. "I'm going to take the clip off and as soon as I do that you need to stuff this gauze in there. Then I'll clamp it off with this clamp. A proper clamp. It'll make things easier." She took a breath. "Ready?"

Juice nodded, feeling quite the old pro. "Ready , doc."

* * *

><p>"So he was stalking you, too?"<p>

Jax had sat down at last and they had gotten into an almost amiable conversation. Well, as amiable as a conversation could get being it was about a dead guy.

The girl nodded.

"Like Tara," he said quietly.

"No. Not like Tara."

Jax turned to her. He was having a little trouble with this very adult tone coming from a girl who looked like she was in high school. "What do you mean?"

"Tara was his girlfriend. They were living together. I never even went out with him."

She saw him flinch. "Touchy subject? Sorry."

Jax shook his head. "So what was his hold on you?"

"He didn't have one. I was doing a temp job for some club he frequents in Chicago, he spotted me and some lightbulb went off in his head telling him I was "The One" for him. Suddenly he was everywhere. All the time."

"So you got a restraining order to stop him from stalking you?"

"Restraining order?," she scoffed. "He's a fed! How lame would that have been?"

"What then?"

"I stalked him back."

* * *

><p>Gemma approached Tara as she was gathering her things together, preparing to leave Teller-Morrow. "You did us a great favor saving the Irishman" she said candidly to the young woman. "Thank you. We won't forget it."<p>

Tara glanced at her, tried her best to accept the thanks graciously. "I patched him up. But Juice here deserves credit for keeping the bleeding to a minimum til I got here."

Beside Gemma, Juice grinned ear to ear. He seemed to grow taller, even.

Then Tara added. "Him and Chibs - he clamped the femoral with that bulldog clip."

"Chibs?" Gemma shook her head. "Chibs isn't here, he's been out for hours."

The two women turned on Juice, who immediately began to sweat.

"Did _you_ improvise the clamp?" Tara frowned. "Why'd you tell me it was Chibs?"

Juice wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and shifted from foot to foot. Sensing something was amiss Gemma closed in on him. "Juice!" she barked sharply, making him jump. "Who helped you with the Irishman?"

"It was the kid!" he blurted, unable to help himself. Gemma was way scarier than Clay, especially when she got that look on her face.

"What kid?"

"The one you let in to wait for Jax!"

Gemma put her face up right next to Juice's. Her expression was now pure thunder. "_What kid_?"

* * *

><p>"You read the manuscript?"<p>

"Of course not! I may be a stalker but I'm not nosey." The girl seemed positively indignant as she fixed him with that disturbing gaze. "So. Who pulled the trigger, you or Tara?"

Jax remained silent, caught off guard by her direct attack.

After a moment Sara sighed. " It was a rhetorical question so you can stop agonizing. I already know she made you do it. And don't look at me like that. No, Tara didn't tell me. When I was stalking Kohn I had to dig stuff up on her as well. It doesn't take much to figure it out. Why do you think she came back here? Kohn was stalking her, she couldn't handle it, she came back to the person she knew could do the dirty work if it came down to it."

_God, was that what everyone thought?_ Even Stahl had brought that up. It had always been in the back of Jax's mind but it didn't make it any less painful to hear it spoken out loud.

The girl saw the look in his eyes and frowned. "Dude, I didn't mean that as an insult," she said. " Obviously she trusts you with her life. Believe me, that's big."

When he didn't say anything she kept looking at him with those disturbing eyes. "Shit. I offended you, didn't I? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Or maybe it was something you were already thinking? Look at it this way. She's all kinds of lucky to have someone who'll pull the trigger for her. I mean that "

Jax nodded, comforted just a bit. "So who'll pull the trigger for you?" he asked for no particular reason.

"I don't need anyone to pull the trigger for me. I do my own dirty work."

"Yeah tell me another story." he blurted without thinking. "Women are all the same."

"Are we?" she looked at him thoughtfully. "I have nothing to prove to you but if it'll make you feel better have your friend Juice find my name under Oregon juvie justice records. You'll see I shot my stepfather when I was twelve."

Jax stared at her. Noone could be that straightforward and lie at the same time. "Jesus Christ," he said without thinking.

"Jesus had nothing to do with it," she replied smoothly. "Except for blessing me with clear eyes and a steady hand."

"And balls."

"Those, too," she agreed.

"Why?" he asked softly.

"Rape," she replied simply, with no drama.

Jax had to look away for a moment. "I don't blame you for killing him."

"He didn't die. Unfortunately. But he was considerate enough to get himself shot again a year later. Fatally this time."

"And Kohn ?" Her gaze did not waver and understanding came in a rush. "Ah Jesus."

"Kohn tried," the girl corrected what he was obviously thinking. "Let's just say he never quite got around to it." She looked at him. "He tried the same with Tara, didn't he? That what led to this?"

He didn't answer. He didn't have to. "What does it matter?" he said at last. "It's done."

"So it is. But you're not out of the woods, you know. Stahl is on to you. And she thinks she's on to me."

"You ? But you had nothing to do with it."

"Three people know that, you, me and Tara. And Kohn, but he's dead so he doesn't count. As for everybody else - it's up to their imagination. And in case you haven't figured it out yet, let me tell you that Stahl is a very very creative little whackjob. She will make this out to be whatever she wants in order to get you and/or SAMCRO. And she's convinced I'm involved."

"I burned the body, there's no way she can link any of us."

Sara shook her head. "That little fire you set, the lighter fluid, - it wasn't hot enough. Probably fried the outside of the body, but I don't think it destroyed enough to rule out DNA evidence. I'm guessing good forensics will still be able to identify him."

Jax frowned. "What then?"

"We need to get him to a real crematorium. Burn him for real, get rid of the teeth."

"_We_?"

"Stahl has thrown me into the pot with you guys. It will also do me some good if Kohn's forever listed as AWOL instead of dead. If we get rid of the body for real, I can get someone to plant a couple of things on the net, fake transactions, that sort of thing, keep them thinking he's alive somewhere, hiding out."

"And why would you do that? Help me out?"

The girl shrugged. "Least I can do seeing as you got rid of my problem for me. Protects me, too."

"And what will I owe you if you help me out?"

She frowned, looking even more bewildered. "I'm not keeping a scorecard. Are you?"

Jax found he couldn't answer. Life at SAMCRO was exactly about that: keeping a scorecard. An eternal scorecard of faults and retaliations that had to be paid back and forth.

And he was so _so_ tired of it.

"I wish I wasn't," he said at last, very softly.

"So don't," she shrugged.

* * *

><p><em>author's note: thanks for reading and apologies for letting this go so long without updating. I'm introducing the OC slowly and a couple more mysteriesquestionables will be cleared up in the next chapters. i hope you stay with the story and please let me know what you think !_


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